RaVae EricksonDisclaimer: I was going to go back and change this so its not as nasty or revealing, but I decided against it…I was after all very angry (and I still am) and since I had good reason to be, I left it.
The events of the weekend just make me MAD. I cannot tell you how angry I am at my “friends” right now. Every single one of them blew me off this weekend and then turned right around and expected (that’s right, EXPECTED) me to give up something in my life for them.
Now, I think I am a reasonable person…If something comes up and you tell me you aren’t going to be able to make it to whatever we have planned together I will be understanding. If you call and change the time to a bit later I will accept it and move on…sure, I may be a bit (ok, sometimes a LOT) disappointed, but I get over it. But everyone has a line, and mine was reached this weekend…
I can take being “sloppy seconds” to someone you consider more important in your life. After all, the world does not revolve around me and I am not the most important person in anyone’s life except my Hubbin’s. But “sloppy fifths?” Really, really? I mean so little to you that I have to wait FIFTH in line for your time? Why am I wasting MY time on you if you don’t even really care about me? And then YOU have the audacity to be upset with ME when I am mad because you made me wait FIVE TIMES for you! Excuse me? Get over yourself! I can find better places and better people to spend MY time with than you. Yep, that’s right, I said it. You are not some GREAT person that I HAVE to spend my time with. You see, you made me ANGRY!
I am SICK and TIRED of being your “sloppy FIFTHS” and then you expecting me to make you the most important person on my schedule. Again, GET OVER YOURSELF! Next time you ask me to stay and spend time with you instead of leaving to spend time with someone else I WON’T DO IT! Next time we make plans I am going to CHANGE them on YOU FIVE FREAKIN’ TIMES and see how YOU feel!
I am blown away that you have done EXACTLY what you said you would never do because you know how it feels. Too bad you LIED. Too bad you don’t really care. Too bad…we could have been lifelong friends…too bad. YOU fail at life and need to enjoy it!
Oh, I know this all sounds a bit harsh, but that is how I really feel right now. Maybe sometime in the future I won’t feel this way, but right now I do. Right now I feel like s doormat that has been hung on a line to dry and never returned to its place…even a doormat has a job!
Moving Forward:
Mom is starting the process for her bone marrow transplant. There is an informational meeting tomorrow afternoon, so I will know more then, but for now She will be going in for various tests in preparation and will be home through the weekend…don’t know after that.
Hubbin’s parents, Glen and Linda (G&L from here on out), are leaving for Haiti on Wednesday afternoon for three months! Although exciting it is also a bit scary…L is my go-to person for all medical information and with Mom going through the transplant I will miss having her constant advice. G is my fun relief from it all. No matter what the situation he is always able to make me smile (much like his wonderful son). They will be missed, but the people of Haiti need them more than we do right now. If you are in the praying mood please pray for their trip and that all technology will work with them so they can communicate with us when they are gone.
Hubbin and I are still working on our house, maybe we will tackle to bathroom in a few weeks. For now, the stairwell and hallway need painting and the baseboard in the kitchen needs to be attached…life goes on. 🙂
Hubbin and I are hoping that house on 47 turns into our house….please be praying about this as it is up for auction on the 17th. We won’t be able to get inside to look at it until the week before it goes to auction, but we will have to start the process of getting the loan the beginning of next week in case we get it at the auction.
Until a few months ago Hubbin and I were very happy with the community God had placed around us-family and friends who were there through thick and thin. Now with our friends out of the picture and G&L leaving for three months we kind of feel “alone in the world” (that is a little overdramatic, but you get the point). Please pray that God will raise up a community around us once again as walking through life alone (or with just each other) is not an easy task…that, and we both feel we have so much to give and no one to give it to. Please pray that Hubbin’s heart will be open to this because after the events of this weekend he is hesitant to let anyone else in to his life (and rightfully so).
I guess this concludes my ranting and raving for now…there might be a different kind of post later today or tomorrow.